Burning Wish
by Rebekah Matthews
Summary: After the battle on Usagi's birthday in Sailor Moon S, Usagi races to Mamoru's apartment after the events of losing him and defeating the death busters at their toughest battle yet. She voices her heartache to Mamoru and they have a heart to heart with a promise and a little rain.


Author's note: I couldn't get this idea out of my head, so I hope you enjoy this one-shot. This takes place after the battle on Usagi's birthday in Sailor Moon S. I love Usagi and Mamoru so I really wanted to do another story for them. Please, leave me some reviews and let me know what you think!

Burning Wish

Usagi's eyes shot open and she immediately sat upright on top of her bed. Her breathing came in quick laboured gasps, her heart racing. She swung her legs off her bed and glanced at the clock: 8:00pm. She leapt up unsteadily and threw water over her face. She looked in the mirror at her reflection. A pair of cerulean blue eyes gazed back at her, but it wasn't this that she saw. Mamoru was encased in crystal, frozen and helpless. Kaorinite laughing at her. Taunting her. Usagi turned from the mirror and dashed into her room, hastily slipping her feet into her shoes and running out of her room, down the stairs. She was vaguely aware of her mom pottering about in the living room as she scampered towards the door.

"I'm going to Minako-chan's house!" she told her on her way out, grabbing her coat from the coat hanger, slamming the door shut.

"Usagi!" Ikuko exclaimed. "It's bucketing down." Ikuko went over to the window to watch her daughter scurrying down the street, her long blonde tresses blown behind her, the heavy rain darkening the strands. "Honestly, that girl!"

Usagi had pulled her hood up to shelter herself against the rainfall but it was in vain. It was particularly heavy, almost as if it was mimicking what she felt deep in her chest. However, it wasn't Minako's house that she was running to. She flew past the Game Centre Crown and ran across the road, narrowly missing an oncoming car. She felt the slippery ground beneath her feet, and she prayed silently that she could make it there without her face meeting the pavement. Minutes passed and the rain had soaked her through, but she finally reached his building. She didn't hesitate. She flung herself through the door and ignored the elevator. She raced up the stairs, stumbling a few times. She made it to his floor, and she gasped, her lungs begging for oxygen.

Once her breathing had slowed, she pulled her hood back and shook her head in a failed attempt to shake off the worst of the rain. She walked up to Mamoru's door, lifted her hand and knocked. She heard a shuffle of movement behind the door, a silence of perhaps the TV or radio, then a moment of nothing when the door opened and before her stood Mamoru. Briefly, shock crossed his face, then confusion and concern followed.

"Usagi," Mamoru started, "are you okay? What are you doing here?"

"Sorry," she instantly replied, "I had to come over. I hope that's okay. Can I come in?"

Mamoru looked stunned by this unexpected visitor but nevertheless, moved aside. "Of course," he replied. He shut the door behind her and locked it. Her turned and noticed the water dripping from her hair making small puddles on his floor, her face soaked, and her clothes saturated. "Let me get you a towel."

Usagi watched him disappear down the corridor and she turned to his living room just beyond the hall she was stood in. It looked like he'd been reading with the radio playing gently in the background to fill the silence. She felt disengaged seeing such normalcy after the day she, her friends and boyfriend had just endured. She then felt him behind her, and the towel being wrapped securely round her shoulders.

"What's wrong, Usako?" he asked gently, rubbing her arms.

"I just couldn't sleep," she replied. She shivered.

"We need to get you a change of clothes," he said, frowning. "Come on. We can't talk with you like this."

He guided her towards his bedroom and she numbly allowed him to push her lightly. He looked down at her slight frame and pursed his lips. He went over to a chest of drawers and pulled out a sweater of hers and a pair of slacks. Her eyes widened slightly at seeing that he had a spare change of clothes of hers.

"You left them here a few weeks ago," he commented upon registering her expression. He handed them to her. "You can use the bathroom and dry off in there. There's a hairdryer on the side if you'd like to dry off the worst of it."

She smiled softly and turned to the bathroom. He sighed and made his way to the kitchen and started to boil some water. He opened the cupboards and sought out two mugs. He got out the hot chocolate and two spoons and piled in spoonful's of the cocoa into each mug. He heard the hair dryer start up from within his bathroom and he waited for the water to come to the boil. He went back into his bedroom, went into the drawers under his bed and brought out a large plush blanket and brought it out with him, laying it on the back of the sofa. He started up a fire in the fireplace to help her dry off some more, as he suspected Usagi wouldn't patiently dry herself off completely. Her heard the kettle come to the boil and he filled each mug with the steaming water and gave each a stir in turn. He brought them to the coffee table in front of his sofa and made his way back into his room. He retrieved a pair of his socks, which made him smile imagining them on her smaller feet. He brought them back to the living room and sat down. It wasn't long until he heard the hair dryer go off, and the door to the bathroom open. Then he saw her enter the room, smiling tentatively and he patted the space next to him. She looked far dryer, though her hair wasn't dripping anymore, there was still a hint of dampness to it. Her hair was no longer in the two buns he loved but streaming down her back like a waterfall of liquid gold. Her eyes flickered round the room, noticing the changes since she'd retreated to the bathroom, feeling the warmth emanating from the fireplace.

"Thank you, Mamo-chan," she smiled, occupying the seat next to him. He pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa, wrapping it round her shoulders.

"You look much better now you're out of the rain," he commented. Then he sighed. "Usagi, why were you out in the rain past 8 o'clock?"

She peered up at him, sadness evident in her eyes. "Really, I couldn't sleep," she replied.

"You said that before," he nodded, "but it's not exactly bedtime."

"I took a nap after I left the girls," she explained. "I just needed to see you."

He saw the desperation in her face, the tension in her body. He pressed his lips together.

"I'm sorry about your birthday," he murmured, taking one of her hands in his.

She looked up at him through her lashes and a small smile teased at the corner of her mouth.

"It's starting to feel like fate, isn't it?"

Mamoru started. "What does?"

"For a time, I was the cliché," she laughed without humour. "The princess, her prince and the happily ever after. But life hasn't really gone that way. Rather than the damsel in distress in this story, I'm supposed to be this great heroine who saves the world, again and again and again. That only happened because we all lost everything." She looked up at the ceiling and sighed, letting a lungful of air escape her. He saw the hint of a tear escape down her cheek before she flicked it away. "I was the cliché and that was fine with me. I know your memories aren't as strong as mine, but I can still remember the day I died before Queen Serenity gave us a new life. We lost everything. I lost you."

"Usagi…" Mamoru whispered.

"I can still remember how soundly I slept before Luna found me," she continued. She looked at him. "I haven't slept peacefully since I awoke as Sailor Moon. The nightmares and ghosts of the Moon Kingdom are still there." Mamoru pushed a length of hair behind Usagi's ear, resting his hand at her neck. "When I found you, I lost you again and then I lost you again and again." She sucked in some air. "I had to lose you to save you." Her voice broke a little and her face screwed up slightly with the effort of keeping in how much she felt. The memories of each of their battles were front and centre in her mind… the most recent, when Mamoru was at the mercy of Kaorinite. "It's just our screwed-up destiny and you kind of got caught in the middle. I'm so sorry." Usagi hung her head and Mamoru's arms came around her.

"Usagi, we've been through worse than what we did today," he reassured her, squeezing her to him.

"No, we haven't," she shook her head from against his chest. "Is this what we're destined for? To lose each other over and over?"

"No," he replied, "no matter what, I will always find you. You can be sure of that."

She pulled back from within the circle of his arms and looked up at him.

"Are you so sure?" she challenged, simply needing to hear the words.

"Always, Usako," he reassured her. He glanced at the clock and saw the time. "It's getting late. Do you need me to drive you home?"

"I told mama I was staying at Minako-chan's," she confessed.

They both realised their predicament but instinctively, or maybe a strong desire, Mamoru chose to ignore the problem and accept the situation.

"There's room here," he told her softly.

She didn't say anything, just leaned into him, her head under his chin.

"Oh, I have something for you," he muttered softly. He held up one finger to indicate he'd be a minute, while pointing to her hot chocolate and he got up and went behind them into the kitchen. He brought out a box and placed an intricately, pretty iced cake suited for one onto a plate, pulled out a single pink candle and stuck it gently through the middle. He came back over, plate and the matchbox in his hand and sat down. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to make you a real cake, what with not knowing your birthday then beating them back," he trailed off.

Usagi smiled at his attempt at shaking off the bad experience. "No. This is good," she approved, lacing her fingers between his.

"We're going to do something at the weekend," he promised. "It won't always be like this." He paused, brushing her bangs back. He placed his hands either side of her face and looked intently into her face. "Forget about all the bad stuff that happened today." She nodded. "Did you have fun?" Of course, he referred to their reconciliation after their they each realised, they had a miscommunication and the party she'd had with the girls.

She considered her answer carefully. Yes, it had been fun, but at the same time, it was hollow.

"I got older," she replied.

"You look the same to me," he replied, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. He lit a match and caught the fire on the wick causing the candle to light up. "Happy birthday, Usako. I don't have to sing, do I?" he teased, looking on the verge of worry as singing wasn't exactly one of his pastimes.

"No," she giggled softly.

"Well, go on," he gestured, "make a wish."

Usagi gazed into the depths of the flame of the burning candle and pondered what she wished for. She knew in her heart what she would wish for but it's something she dreamt of. The heartache was too strong right now. She would keep it to herself and keep these worries in this room only. Wishing wouldn't stop them coming and it wouldn't mean that the happily ever after would come simply because she wished it. She knew there were more battles to be fought, more hurt to endure and even more motivation to fight. She saw it in a flash, the countless nights dreaming of the destruction and chaos, and the little flicker of peace that was in touching distance but just out of reach. She felt the whisper of Mamoru's skin against hers and in that moment, she lost hope in wishing. She could remember so clearly watching the Earth from her home on the Moon, wishing for a different life, one where she could live as she pleased with the man of her dreams. She got a different life, but it wasn't an easy one.

"I'll just let it burn," she murmured.

Mamoru considered her empty expression and pulled her into him, letting her head rest under his chin. He stroked her hair back from her face and pressed his lips against her forehead, not quite pulling away as a simple kiss demanded. He closed his eyes, feeling the hopelessness from deep within her, the sadness that stayed with her and most of all the tiredness.

"I'll always find my way back to you," he promised. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Usagi gripped Mamoru's hand as she kept her eyes on the flickering flame on the candle. She was blessed with many things, she knew, but she was cursed as the Moon Princess. Her journey was never supposed to be easy, but she had her four best friends and her prince to support her on the way. She didn't want to be anywhere else either.


End file.
